"I hope it’s all in you. Worlds and constellations and every pretty thing that could destroy you if you look too closely. After you kiss me, I want to have to pull out your poetry from between my teeth. Untangle it from the knots in my hair. Find it clogging up the shower drains.
I hope that I find it after flossing. Standing at the bathroom sink, running my tongue over the words “survive” and “together.” I’m all messed up bedroom hair and dog-tired eyes and your language is painted over me like neon signage. Let’s wake up to burning. It can be the toast or it can be all the bridges we weren’t going to cross together.
I think we began here. I think it all started in your holy hands and dirty, ugly tongue. Say things that change me. Write them on my body, I want to wake up to a different world inside of me. Take every awful thing and make it wonderful. Say “I love you” like a curse. Say it like a blessing. Don’t say it at all. Fuck, I don’t really care as long as you keep looking at me like that. Like maybe you see the beautiful thing inside of me that I already know exists. That maybe you appreciate it too and that appreciation can hold hands and walk into a fire together and it will be violent and devastating and we will love every moment of it.
I gotta warn you now though, there are ugly things inside of me. Dark things that look like whatever you were scared of when you were nine. Sometimes I’m unrecognisable because of them. I need you to love me through those times, even if you’re terrified. Even if your teeth are chattering from the cold because you’ve got them too. And I promise I’ll hold you through the awful. I promise I’ll never make you feel like I’m going to leave you behind. All your drunk and your bitter and your hateful. All the twisted things that keep you up at night. We’ll survive every damn winter together. I’ll hold your hand when the beasts are clawing at you. Let’s do this one thing for each other, here it goes: I have seen the good in you and the bad in you and I will try my hardest to always love them both. When there are days that I cannot love you like I should, I will stay. I will stay. I will straighten my shoulders, take your battle and I will stay."
"Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows."
"25 Things To Do Before You Turn 25 1. Make peace with your parents. Whether you finally recognize that they actually have your best interests in mind or you forgive them for being flawed human beings, you can’t happily enter adulthood with that familial brand of resentment.
2. Kiss someone you think is out of your league; kiss models and med students and entrepreneurs with part-time lives in Dubai and don’t worry about if they’re going to call you afterward.
3. Minimize your passivity.
4. Work a service job to gain some understanding of how tipping works, how to keep your cool around assholes, how a few kind words can change someone’s day.
5. Recognize freedom as a 5:30 a.m. trip to the diner with a bunch of strangers you’ve just met.
6. Try not to beat yourself up over having obtained a ‘useless’ Bachelor’s Degree. Debt is hell, and things didn’t pan out quite like you expected, but you did get to go to college, and having a degree isn’t the worst thing in the world to have. We will figure this mess out, I think, probably; the point is you’re not worth less just because there hasn’t been an immediate pay off for going to school. Be patient, work with what you have, and remember that a lot of us are in this together.
7. If you’re employed in any capacity, open a savings account. You never know when you might be unemployed or in desperate need of getting away for a few days. Even $10 a week is $520 more a year than you would’ve had otherwise.
8. Make a habit of going outside, enjoying the light, relearning your friends, forgetting the internet.
9. Go on a 4-day, brunch-fueled bender.
10. Start a relationship with your crush by telling them that you want them. Directly. Like, look them in the face and say it to them. Say, I want you. I want to be with you.
11. Learn to say ‘no’ — to yourself. Don’t keep wearing high heels if you hate them; don’t keep smoking if you’re disgusted by the way you smell the morning after; stop wasting entire days on your couch if you’re going to complain about missing the sun.
12. Take time to revisit the places that made you who you are: the apartment you grew up in, your middle school, your hometown. These places may or may not be here forever; you definitely won’t be.
13. Find a hobby that makes being alone feel lovely and empowering and like something to look forward to.
14. Think you know yourself until you meet someone better than you.
15. Forget who you are, what your priorities are, and how a person should be.
16. Identify your fears and instead of letting them dictate your every move, find and talk to people who have overcome them. Don’t settle for experiencing .000002% of what the world has to offer because you’re afraid of getting on a plane.
17. Make a habit of cleaning up and letting go. Just because it fit at one point doesn’t mean you need to keep it forever — whether ‘it’ is your favorite pair of pants or your ex.
18. Stop hating yourself.
19. Go out and watch that movie, read that book, listen to that band you already lied about watching, reading, listening to.
20. Take advantage of health insurance while you have it.
21. Make a habit of telling people how you feel, whether it means writing a gushing fan-girl email to someone whose work you love or telling your boss why you deserve a raise.
22. Date someone who says, “I love you” first.
23. Leave the country under the premise of “finding yourself.” This will be unsuccessful. Places do not change people. Instead, do a lot of solo drinking, read a lot of books, have sex in dirty hostels, and come home when you start to miss it.
24. Suck it up and buy a Macbook Pro.25. Quit that job that’s making you miserable, end the relationship that makes you act like a lunatic, lose the friend whose sole purpose in life is making you feel like you’re perpetually on the verge of vomiting. You’re young, you’re resilient, there are other jobs and relationships and friends if you’re patient and open."